"Here's Your Sign" staements from singers

[kedmison]

Let's see,....

1. GUY: "Gimme plenty of re-verb. I won't have to sing as hard."
ME: "You're the first person I ever met who could sing re-verb."

2. GIRL: "If I show you my t!ts will you let me sing."
ME: ( My wife is well endowed and sits by the first table by the stage)
"That's my wife sitting right there. Do you honestly think I'm going to be impressed?"
GIRL: Looks over at my wife; then at her chest; then looks at me and shakes her head slowly side to side with head bowed and walks away.)

3. After handing them the mic that you just had in your hand to ask them to come up; they take it and ask if it is on.

4. GIRL: "Hey remember me? Haven't seen you in awhile. How you doing?"
ME: "You look familiar but something looks different." (I think it was her hair color)
GIRL: "We'll I've had my nipples pierced." (She's wearing a sweatshirt for cryin' out loud!" (That one brought me to tears laughing)

5. I hand the wireless mic to a girl. She steps off the stage a takes a few steps out to the dance area and then stops and asks if it is alright to sing on the floor.
I said sure just don't let people trip over the cord... She begins looking for it.

6. One of my regulars while on the mic sees the song key prior to the start and says, "I can't sing in BFlat."
ME: "Trust me; you're ALWAYS flat.

Kelly