So funny I forgot to laugh

[KaraokeDj38030]

ok so how many of you have ever done a show where the customers have come up to you and have tryed to convince you that they are Singer/song writers and are so popular that everybody in the bar will just fall over in awe when they get up to sing, LOL I don't know how many times people have come up to me with this kind of story trying to impress me that they are good enough to sing I have to continuously have to tell them that it is not a requirement that they are the best singer in the world Just that they have a song that they want to share with everybody is enough to get on the list. I have like three regulars at one of my shows that can't carry a tune in a bucket however they get their chance to sing reguardless. Tonight I had to laugh though and I know it was wrong of me but I had to you see this girl comes in at the beginning of the show introduces herself to me by saying I am a professional singer I am from Paris and I have written songs for Kid Rock, Nickleback and so forth. I told her that was nice to hear would she like to sing a few songs, so she gives me the list of songs and I call her up to sing well She starts off saying she wants to say something to the crowd so I premit this and she gives them the same song and dance(hey if they want to build themselves up I let them) Well she sings (HOME) needless to say it was a nightmare two cats with their tails tied together over a chothes line would have sounded better Then she sings a few more and wanted to do (HOME) one more time before leaving. OK I LET HER!! She finishes and leaves the Bar erupted I couldn't help but chuckle because for me she was the comic relief of the night. Anybody HAVE any GOOD or BAD ones They care to share. I am sure we can have a few quick laughs together.

[marklwood]

I've got one for you. I was doing my show one night and a guy came back and was talking to me. Very nice gentleman. After a while, he asked if I knew who he was. I said no. He said he was Rich McReady. I have to admit I am not much of a country guy and didn't know who that was. He asked about possibly performing in my bar but I told him I didn't do live music anymore because the venue is just not big enough to support it. He said we could work out a deal for a cut from the till to show me that it could be profitable for both of us. I told him I couldn't make a decision like that without sleeping on it and I would call him the next day. He left shortly thereafter.

The next day I did some research and found out he was from Seneca MO, about 20 miles south of here. I also found out he had just played at the Houston Livestock and Rodeo Show. My sister happens to be a big wig in the charity that owns Reliant Stadium and the Astrodome and puts on that event so I called her. She told me he was a fairly big star but more of a second tier. I was duly impressed with his demeanor for a star and thought that I would maybe pursue this. After thinking about it, I decided to not screw up what I already have so I called him and told him no thanks.

A couple of months later he showed up again with a couple of people. His sound man came up to me and asked if Rich could sing a song. I of course said yes and suggested that he use my guitar I keep in the back for people who want to do their own thing. I made a big deal out of begging him to come up and sing a song. The crowd hooped and hollered and he finally came up. He decided to do Sweet Home Alabama. He played the intro and when it came to the part he should sing, he just kept playing and not singing. That is when I noticed he was so drunk he couldn't even remember the words to the song. He finally muddled through with the help of his girlfriend, myself, and the sound man feeding him words. I was very embarrassed for him.

Later when they asked about him singing another song, I politely told them no. We had a line of singers and wouldn't get around to his turn again before we closed. What I really meant was I wasn't going to let a big star get up and embarrass himself again.

[mindonstrike]

I don't have a story as good as these. I do get a lot of the usual "My boyfriend/girlfriend is an awesome singer, you've got to let them sing,everybody will love it." This is usually aft the end of night when there's no time for them.

I did have an awesome singer one time tell me after a showl that she was an up and coming singer with a music video comeing out in a few months. I told her I'd watch for it. Her genre was hip-hop (I'm a country boy) so if she had a video/song come out I missed it. She was a very pleasant person with nothing to gain by mentioning it (actually her friend brought up the subject), so I don't think she was fibbing.

I had a guy one time claim to be Tone Loc and he give me $100 if I played a Tone Loc song (as soon as his driver returned, because HE didn't carry cash), I had a little dead time so I played an old Tone Loc music video. The guy disappeared after an hour. Someone told me later this guy goes around to bars with that story to try and get people to buy him drinks.

Sam

[Lonman]

Get those people all the time. Had a gal claim she was a back up singer for Patti Labelle in the 70's. Cued up Lady Marmalade a little while later and asked if she wanted to sing it, she didn't know what it was.
Get people ALL the time saying they are writers or musicians for certain groups in which I know for fact is BS.
Have one guy now that claims to have written for Toby Keith, Keith Urban & Dixie Chicks. I got his name, & did a search, he has a WikiPedia page (these are able to be created by anyone) describing his self acclaimed talent!
Now I do get local musicians that actually do write their own stuff & recording their own as well & bring it in on cd minus words.
A old friend of mine is actually the current singer of Metal Church - old 80's hard core metal band, that's about the biggest 'star' i've ever known. Funny thing is he used to host karaoke too in their down time....lol.