"Here's Your Sign" staements from singers

[bryant]

We've all heard some good ones. Let say we share some of these so as to lighten up our lives a bit?

I've got more but here's one for starters:

Setting: 1 mic on stand and two by the monitor
Statement: "Which one do I use?"

[WDEWDAD7]

I'm sure everyone has heard this one: " Oh, I just don't know the words to this one!"

[Lonman]

Love the excuses people try to use to get up next.

Actually had someone tell me they needed to be up next because their daughter was home & called saying her brother needed to be driven to the hospital because he broke his arm - I told her, well I think your family is more important than getting another song up. Oddly enough, they stayed until closing after singing her song IN the place where it was supposed to be.

[mindonstrike]

Or how about: "Where do I read the words"...ummmm on every single TV in the bar.
Heeeres your sign.

Sam

[bryant]

Gotta share this one:

After bringing up slip, "I'll be up next, right?"

Me: "Nope"

Them: "Why not"

[bobcox- with the Lord]

well i should be up next, i sound better than they do.

[Lonman]

Originally Posted by bobcox

well i should be up next, i sound better than they do.

When in actuallity it's all in their mind!

[Harryoke]

I dont want to hear myself...keep the music loud.

[kedmison]

Let's see,....

1. GUY: "Gimme plenty of re-verb. I won't have to sing as hard."
ME: "You're the first person I ever met who could sing re-verb."

2. GIRL: "If I show you my t!ts will you let me sing."
ME: ( My wife is well endowed and sits by the first table by the stage)
"That's my wife sitting right there. Do you honestly think I'm going to be impressed?"
GIRL: Looks over at my wife; then at her chest; then looks at me and shakes her head slowly side to side with head bowed and walks away.)

3. After handing them the mic that you just had in your hand to ask them to come up; they take it and ask if it is on.

4. GIRL: "Hey remember me? Haven't seen you in awhile. How you doing?"
ME: "You look familiar but something looks different." (I think it was her hair color)
GIRL: "We'll I've had my nipples pierced." (She's wearing a sweatshirt for cryin' out loud!" (That one brought me to tears laughing)

5. I hand the wireless mic to a girl. She steps off the stage a takes a few steps out to the dance area and then stops and asks if it is alright to sing on the floor.
I said sure just don't let people trip over the cord... She begins looking for it.

6. One of my regulars while on the mic sees the song key prior to the start and says, "I can't sing in BFlat."
ME: "Trust me; you're ALWAYS flat.

Kelly

[ddouglass]

Originally Posted by Harryoke

I dont want to hear myself...keep the music loud.

Then when they start they want you to turn the mic up because they can't hear themselves!

[ddouglass]

I had one young lady (one of my regulars) who suddenly had the urge to go to the bathroom, but she had already started singing. The stage is at one end of the building and the powder rooms are at the other end.

Without missing a beat she headed to the bathroom with microphone in hand singing all the way there and all the way back!

Thank goodness we were using wireless mics. And I did use a Lysol wipe on it before putting it back on the stand.

[Lonman]

I used to get this all the time & still do on occasion. When Chartbuster first came out, their "We Keep America Singing" slogan would pop up right under their logo on the first screen.
Singers response - HEY, this isn't the song i'm singing! Me played along, & so - OH, let me fix that & raise my hands & point to the monitor in a magician type of fashion as the song title of the song came up.

[CerealKiller]

Can you slow this down the words are going to fast!

[bobcox- with the Lord]

Originally Posted by CerealKiller

Can you slow this down the words are going to fast!

And the more they Drink, The Faster they GO.

[bobcox- with the Lord]

How about the ones who cover the mic with both hands.
and then say they cant hear me, or its not on.
i tell them covering the mic is like drinking your beer with the cap still on

[Digital Party]

You are playing music in between the singers. You call a person up and before you can turn the dance music down they say....."That's not the song I'm singing."

Oh Brother

[bobcox- with the Lord]

Yea, and i even have them say that when they look at the singers name display.

[mindonstrike]

Instead of filling out the information fields on the front of the songslip they put all the info on the back of it.

or

They hand you a list of song numbers "to save you money".

Sam

[bryant]

How about those that think an 8 ft. mic cord will stretch 10 feet. So they walk across the dance floor with the cord three feet off the ground stretched right out straight, and expect the dancers to jump over to get to the dance floor.! Sheesh!

[bryant]

Oh, has anyone ever had some people use different names on their slips on a crowded night, so as to get up more often?
Bryant