[ddouglass]

You are going to need to explain a bit more about your monitor problem.
Is it that you are not turning on the 2nd monitor until after starting the computer?
Is the 2nd monitor showing the desktop background and not the Hoster display?

As far as your other problems there are several things.
Have you done the Custom Updates from Microsoft?
Do you have Internet Explorer 7 and Windows Media Player 9 or 11 installed?
Have you tried changing the Color Quality from 32 bit to 16 bit?
Does the lag happen all the time or does it happen later in the show only?
I have a feeling that the on-board video card is causing your Videos problem. Could be because it shares memory with the processor instead of having dedicated memory of it's own.
Do they freeze momentarily then continue on or just freeze completely?
What type of videos are you trying to play?